Well the season is here like it or not. But I'm actually feeling different this year. Unusual. I feel a strong longing for the rituals and celebrations of my childhood. The faith of my ancestors. I don't understand that. I have had my own way of doing things for a long time. I have not had that longing before. I find myself missing the marking of the seasons. Missing the Nativity. Missing all the things I thought I had put behind me. So what is different this year? I miss the communion with the sacred. The silent, holiness of the night, the still waiting, the quiet joy. I miss the voices of the past. There was an excitement and hopefulness in those days that I have lost in the passing of time. Why do I miss those things this year?